Meanwhile, in the republican world Bizarro…
– The answer to hundreds of mass shootings year after year is to make guns even more readily available to absolutely everyone, without any requirement for background checks, licensing or training.
– The logical response to “the safest election in American history” is to tout the non-existence of massive voter fraud and pass dozens of voter suppression bills.
– The cure for climate change, systemic racism and police brutality is to pretend they don’t exist.
– The way to solve homelessness is to treat them so horribly that they will go somewhere else, anywhere else, as long as they are out of sight.
– The solution to growing income inequalities and soaring budget deficits is to give more tax breaks to billionaires.
– The 2012 terrorist attack in Benghazi which left four dead deserved 33 public hearings, but the 2021 terrorist attack in the capital of our country, which left five dead, does not require any investigation.
– The physically fit septuagenarian who has dedicated his life to public service, whose sons served in the army, and who is able to string together several coherent sentences on a given subject without the use of a teleprompter is corrupt and senile, but the obese septuagenarian who cheated on his three wives, filed for bankruptcy six times, been arraigned twice and attempted to overthrow our democracy is manly, virtuous and almost Christlike in his infallibility.
And unfortunately, none of the above is satire.
– Scott Paulo, Chico